Many people ask me and Rebecca about what to do after being “dunked.” Sometimes, even the most astute and skilled leaders are “dunked”—often times as a progression of politics gone sour. But, no matter what the adversity is or what the circumstances are behind it, you have to make a decision to live on after your chaos in order to truly “prevail.” It is important to note that each one of these top 5 strengths are extremely difficult and might take some time for them to settle in, but they are all extremely helpful to your total health and state of mind for moving forward both personally and professionally. Here is our top 5 list of how to stay in tune with the fallout of adversity:
1. Know that things could be worse. You might have your health when others don’t. You might have a middle class life when others might be suffering from homelessness. Give as much as you can to others. Give them your time, energy, patience, and understanding because those things might be what someone else gives you in order to strengthen you to prevail.
2. Don’t settle for career failure even if you are meant to do something else. What is temporary right now is really OK. Don’t force yourself to try to control that which is uncontrollable. Tap into your talents and survey the opportunities that are out there. If you walk through life with closed eyes, you won’t see the great things right in front of your face which could be miracles or new chances in disguise.
3. Realize that there is a path for you and no path is perfectly straight. If you think that there aren’t others suffering from their own adversarial conditions, know that you are not alone. You will be fine being thrown onto a crooked path and it is, actually, very exciting to think about how the path will straighten itself out with time, patience, and reflection as you try out new things and engage in new endeavors.
4. Enjoy what you have versus what you don’t have. Look at your children. Your house. Your ability to do well. Your family is more important than any job and you will be OK. Really. You will continue to have the ability to support your family even if it isn’t in the exact job or career that you want to be in.
5. Most importantly, don’t get hung up on anger or regret. If you are angry, that’s OK (it’s natural and part of the grieving process), but if you continue to be angry about your journey, it is your burden to bear. Your adversaries are not going to care about your anger so why should you? It will only lead you to an unhealthy lifestyle and stunt any progress or momentum that you are trying to build up.
Rebecca and I are not minimizing that there could be deeply rooted feelings of negativity in some cases and circumstances of the adversity aftermath that you might be facing in your life. But, making a phone call to set up a meeting with a mental health professional can really do wonders. We know many “dunkees” who have prevailed by getting the professional help that they needed in order to truly prevail for the rest of their lives.
Adversarial aftermath doesn’t have to reside in complete devastation.